The day before
I was having a good time at the City Of Entertainment! Yup, without my Baby and Chenta. Ada 1 day course by the vendor. Thought of not going at the first place because of the hectic urusan sana sini. Surprisingly Chenta said OK and he even planned on how to take care of Iman. (mungkin dia juga rasa bersalah kerana daku telah menolak 2-3 kursus luar KL before and since I’ll be away for only 1 night so he gave it a GO). Check-in at 6, dinner at Coffee Terrace, then followed by Fly Defy Gravity show at the pavilion. Then emmm..karaoke…***very vey very guilty***. Well..just like the way it used to be ages ago. I was happy but deep inside amat rindu Iman. Chenta said dia tak mau tidur… sampai kena bawak naik kereta pusing2 jln ipoh ke jalan duta ke jln kuching ke bulatan selayang. Kesian Chenta and kesian Baby…mesti nak nenen tu..!!!
Aprox 5 hours before
Ambil Iman rumah makcik. Upon seeing me, dia lari sgt laju dan terus memeluk!!! I hardly hold back my tears!. Rindu Mummy ya…….. Dlm kereta dia nenen sepuasnya sambil tangan mengusap2 muka daku….huwaaaaaaaaa…sedeyyy….
Aprox 3 hours before
Di rumah Pak Ngah, Jln Ipoh. Main dengan gumbiranya tp every single minutes mesti cari Mummy….sekejap2 dtg kat mummy and planted a kiss on my cheek..
Aprox 1 hours or less before – masa kejadian
Di rumah Kajang. Iman dah tidur (atas katil, I did kepong him with pillows). Abah juga sudah tertidur depan laptop. I was busy doing laundry and packing everything downstairs. Last sekali masa tunggu laundry untuk dijemur, layan LOTR kat TV2. tub2 dengar benda jatuh. Tersentap jantung daku…. True enough Iman menjerit. Daku lari naik atas, terasa kaki tak jejak mata tangga!. Chenta tengah angkat him… daku terus grab dia dan usap2 kepala dia…. Matanya masih pejam tapi nangis! Nenenkan dia terus diam….. masa dia nenen tu I pulak nangis……… sedih sangat!!! I pray hard he is OK and if anything happens to him I will be blaming myself!
Alhamdulillah, few minutes after that dia terlena semula. Daku check sana sini tak nampak lebam/benjol. Pagi tadi check lagi pon tak nampak apa2. and he was behaving normally.
how could you feel tired of this baby?
Do some of you ever feel so tired of all the mummy’s duties that sometimes, just sometimes you wish to take off for a full day and just be yourself? I did! It's not that I love him any less but sometimes I think I need a wee break from everything to keep myself sane. I do feel very guilty for having this kind of feeling and always think that I’m a bad mummy! Ya, semasa mengusap rambut Iman, rasa-rasa ini bertambah menekan. I’m BAD, BAD!! help me!!!