LIFE

Life is strange sometimes. It loves to play tricks on us. Or is it just me? I don’t know what’s gotten into me past few months, but to say I lost my mojo to blog is an understatement!. Blogging is always a mind therapy to me; it somehow calms and opens my wits. To successfully put whatever ideas/thought I had into proper words is indescribable! It’s like drinking allberry bang smoothies from boost! Ok the point is.. I lost them all, the needs, the feeling, the excitements, in HERE.

Anyone miss me? *soalan the very…*

The truth is, I found a new medium that allows me to be 100% me.  Been talking to this note book since the date written. 

 No worries friends… I will be back… pls come back *intonasi  macam Rose in titanic, tetiba*.

Ramadhan 09, 1432H

We live 25km from downtown KL. Travelling to work on daily basis can sometimes felt so droning, boring and tiresome especially in the evening when it seems like every road, highway or toll is jammed!. In a happy day, talking to each other was good enough to channel our anger (sebab jam) away. But in a gloomy day, to avoid staring pointlessly on the road or just being irritated and started cursing other drivers, we played games.  Oh, when 3 of us in the car, we seldom turn the radio on.

Last Tuesday, August 10, 2011, was general knowledge quiz.  We ask Gebus few questions like what is the color of our flag, name vegetables that you know, which one is a healthy food, what shape is our world, what is Atuk in English, then what is your grandpa’s name and sorts. 

Suddenly he said: Ok my turn.

He asked us questions, 11 in total. Some that amuse us lot:

World is round, tapi jalan tegak. *huh?. Long explaination*

Kereta di jalan, matahari di atas. Yang mana duduk di angkasa? *huh?*

Yang mana lebih besar , Lori ke bas? *so confuse to answer, atas jalan ada lori kecik, lori trailer, bas skolah pendek, bas express dua tingkat*

Yang mana satu burung? Burung Hantu ke Rama-rama? *rotf*

Question No 11, Ok yang ni soalan paling susah sekali tau. Fikir dulu sebelum jawab (tu dia siap warning)

Yang mana lebih besar, Ipad ke iphone?. *rotf 5X, he actually meant which one is better in terms of apps and tgk movie *

Oh im so gonna miss this. I foresee travelling to Cyberjaya will be lonesome and perhaps I can work on my vocal then.

Assalamulaikum sahabat

Salam Ramadhan penuh barkah
Maaf zahir dan batin
Dari sudut hati yang paling dalam

Chenta, Daku & ,Gebus,
Ramadhan 3,
6:30am
Tol Batu 9, Cheras

TER

I weight freaking 55kg this morning!
TerGEMOK since melahirkan Gebus!
Sekian.


Lots of fat,
Gleneagles Ampang.

ps: ini catatan peribadi, jgn ambil peduli. Tensi.

Kesukaan Aku

Pertama kali aku betul-betul perasan dia dalam drama 100 harijadi. Betul-betul di sini bermakna aku betul-betul melihat dengan mata dan mungkin juga hati. Aku perhati mata dia, senyum dia, rambut dia, jalan dia, lalu aku label dia. Kamu tidak perlu tahu, itu rahsia aku. Dan di akhir drama, aku tunggu lagi. Aku mahu tahu nama dia. Ahh… aku senyum. Aku tahu aku akan suka. Ya, aku selalu berfikiran jika nama itu lembut, ada sedikit tegas dan yang penting artisan, empunya nama juga akan begitu. Maka aku suka lebih lagi.

Tapi hati manusi tidak boleh diduga. Suka itu menghilang seketika entah ke mana. Mungkin beralih ke pontianak paling agung, atau pembunuh upahan yang boleh melihat geraknya peluru. Mungkin juga terawang tidak ke mana sebenarnya.

Lalu, tadi, ya ketika meter kebosanan hampir mencecah maksima, aku pandang sekeliling. Aku bilang, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, dan 7. Tujuh manusia tertunduk, gelap, hilang dalam dunia sendiri. Aku senyum, pathetic! Aku berlagak. Itu aku, suka berlagak. Walau event ini sebenarnya bukan untuk aku, aku hanya pengganti yang namanya bos, aku harus berlagak juga, jangan tunduk!. Eh, yang tunduk tidur itu bos kah? Malang sekali kan….

Aku capai telefon bijak dan google kesukaan aku dulu. Aku terkasima. Omaigaaaaad! Dia MENULIS! Kenapa aku tidak tahu? Kenapa? Lalu aku maki diri sendiri. Dan, aku pula hilang dalam tulisannya.

Kalau aku jadi dia, aku pilih aku

Jangan tanya aku kenapa

Aku, macam-macam aku

Aku menulis tiada para

Aku lari (tidak laju) tiada penamat

Aku melukis, tidak jadi apa

Aku iron, aku gantung

Aku toleh, ia renyuk kembali

Aku sudah cuba kan…

Tapi, kadang-kadang aku kagum dengan aku

Aku lupakan yang aku benci

Aku erase terus

Aku tidak mahu ingat

Aku tidak mahu tahu lagi

Kamu suka aku?

Kamu mahu jadi aku?

Bukan, ini bukan tulisan dia, ini tulisan aku. Tapi aku mahu jadi macam dia. Dia macam-macam.

Read-gasm

He makes my writing sound so boring, so immature, childish and dreary. I hate him, so much, and that’s only making me more addictive to him. His text is like my own personal brand of heroin. Wallahhhh.. feeling2 robert pattinson gitew. Well, being a good samaritan I am, I share with you my read-gasm site:

nitzus.com

enjoy and dont blame me if you feel like stop writing:)

Novella ke Melb

Assalam people, how’s 2011 treating you so far? Work wise, mine was chaotic! Been transferred to diff unit and now trying my best to deliver everything I’ve promised before. KPI ke laut hahahah. Life’s been great. I determine to teach Iman mengaji or at least up to Iqra’ 3. The rest you will have to come back here later to have a peek on what’s been planned for this year.

Anyway, this novella is meant as a memento to moi. You need time and patience to read or it will bore you to stiff. You’ve been warned?

Trip to Melbourne was actually 2 times postponed due to reasons I simply don’t want to know. Well, if you’re ikan bilis and you’re only one of the many users to the project, and your name been slashed from other trip because of this trip, and it was postponed 2 times, will you be bothered? I kept telling myself to take it easy and only to tell friends when the flight ticket is ready. Ok la ada terberitahu org tu dan Smid awal then siap inform postpone. Padan muka malu?.

On Dec 29, around 1.00am after like tidurkan Iman (we watched MegaMind earlier) and packing for the boys (they will be staying @2nd fav lair -Tmn Kok Lian), I dgn la la la la nya baru nak packing, ambil my ever trusted oversized handbag to check for my cc, ticket, visa, and passport. Tengok2 passport Iman dalam casing, where’s mine?. Geledah sana… geledah sini.. non ado. Naik bilik.. carik lagi… non ado.. sedang menyelongkar kesemua koleksi handbag (bilangannya hanya sebelah tangan sahaja) Chenta terjaga.

carik apa?
I think I lost my passport.
Hah? Are you sure? When was the last time you see it?
Last err.. few weeks when Mike mintak copy utk buat visa. Saya photostat kat office
Awak suruh admin ke buat sendiri? Lepas photostat letak mana?
Buat sendiri, lepas tu letak balik dlm casing and masuk handbag

Dia bangun dan mula menyelongkar itu ini. We both betrothed the same mission to find the PASSPORT started rummage the house. Around 1.50am he said

Cuba ingat betul-betul kat mana awak letak.
Last memang kat office, oh no, Photostat tu before ke after 5S? *blank*
Awak bawak balik kampong tak masa raya haji.
Bawak, sebab memang dalam handbag, tapi tak ada keluarkan pun.
Mana la tau….

I grabbed my handphone and dialed 07429XXXX. Praying no one will terkejut menerima panggilan at this hour. My sis picked the call and directly asks kenapa. I explained, and she promised to call back a.s.a.p after looking at my room. Then I realized, even if she found it, how and who the fish can deliver it to me? But at least I know…. How or who can wait.

Kalau nak carik kat office, kena gerak sekarang.. dah dekat pukul 2 ni.
Errr… jom la.(totally blank)

So we did! Angkat Iman masuk keta and zoommmmmm ke Jln Duta. Can you imagine it? on the way, my sis called

Tak ada la dik, dah carik dalam bilik, kat tempat tepon…
Tak pe la… kitorang nak carik kat opis pulak.. kot-kot tertinggal kat sana
Nanti akak cari lagi….
Ok.. nengkiu… apa2 nanti call la…

I remember vividly joting down 2.20am in the guard’s log book upon amek kunci opis. Iman was left in the car which parked close to the entrance dgn pesanan tolong tengokkan anak saya dalam kereta kepada polis bantuan bertugas. We both rushed to 13th floor and to my cubicle. My desk was pretty much clean selepas 5S: nothing on it. Chenta going for the drawers and me for the organizer and personal files. ---cari----cari---cari--- Hampa. At this point, my heart started to felt heavy and my fingers started to tremble. I kid you not, it was like my mind going blank, I can’t say a word, and I think I can hear my watch clicking like trying to tell me, come on lady you have only few hours left. In case you don’t know, my flight to Melb will be at 9.00am in the morning, so I must be @KLIA by 7.00am and MUST leave home around 5.30 -5.45am. And now it is already 2.45!. Only 3 hours left!

Ntah-ntah dalam slingbag coach awak tak. (sorry la kena mention coach itu, not to brag, ala.. coach kecik pon)
Tapi saya dah clear everything inside it sebab nak hantar cuci.
Mana la tau… awak dah check ke tadi
Errrr (trying hard to remember where did I put it).. belum
So, ni confirm tak tertinggal kat opis la… sebab kalau kita balik ni, office kira gone sebab memang tak kan sempat kalau nak patah balik..
Errrr…..(I wanted to scream No!! but endup took a really deep breath and closed my eyes, tried awfully hard to remember what I did after sending the photocopy of my passport, yes, I PUT IT BACK in my bag) Yang, kita carik kat rumah pulak la, kot-kot dalam slingbag tu. (padahal dalam hati tahu dalam slingbag itu memang dah dikosongkan)

We went back home. Me not saying anything in the car but despite that, Chenta repeatedly ask me to calm down and try to remember. Dia tidak marah, tidak merungut, tidak mencemuh atau menambah kusut. His collected self even frightened me more. Now my body started to tremble.

Reached home around 3.15am and I ran straight to find my slingbag. Hampa, nothing in it. I delved in all the other bags again. Hampa juga. Chenta ask me to go and search upstairs while he will look thoroughly downstairs. He even checked in Iman’s toys boxes and flip through every mags and books on shelve. I amek wuduk and solat, DERDOA.

Sambung cari, cari, cari and around 3.40am I heard him walked upstairs, went to his study room and switched on the TV. At this moment I know that he didn’t find it. He then came to our room eating biscuits. ---Silent----. I went downstairs and kiss Iman yg nyenyak atas sofa. Rumah macam baru kena rompak. I checked Iman’s school beg manalah tau kan. Hampa. I checked kat dapur , drawers and cabinet. Hampa juga. Punggah semua luggage, hampa jua.

I sat facing Iman’s face and just be sad. The ‘not going’ not worry me so much, I scared of what are the consequences of it. Am I gonna have to pay back all the expenses? The flight tickets, room fare, courses charge, Iya la, at this hour mana sempat cari orang utk ganti kan. Tindakan tatatertib? You know how people can sometimes be mean just to show their power or simply as a reminder to other staff. I felt stupid. Stupid enough not to check everything important at least a week before. I looked at my watch and felt totally lost. I snuggled beside Iman and hugged him tight. I bukan pengalah tapi it seemed like nowhere else to cari, semua dah diselongkar berkali-kali.

4.01am, i heard Chenta approaching and when I looked, saw him holding high something, something red.

Yang, you are going to Melbourne!
Yang…………

I hugged him and I cried. I cried awfully hard like all the feelings before instantly burst at once.

Dah.. sambung packing. Jangan tidur, kang tak terjaga nanti miss flight pulak. Tak payah kemas… awak dah penat tu.

It was the most comforting words I’ve ever heard from him considering what we’ve been through all night. I continually sobbed like a child. I packed my things without thinking, (ya rhyme tapi tak kelakar kan). Kemas jugak rumah dan bilik sikit-sikit, did the laundry and ironkan baju kerja Chenta. Jenguk dia tengah buat assignment and he offered me to say goodbye to family in FB. I end up updating my status about jantung nak pecah something….

Later at the airport, I didn’t feel hungry or sleepy; I sit and think hard. Thinking about Chenta. My phone rang, it was from my sis.

Mcm mana jumpa tak?
Jumpa, kat rumah…
Alhamdulillah…. Bapak pun risau malam tadi, tak boleh tidur dia… siap buat sembahyang hajat.

I didn’t know that she told my father. Dah lewat malam kan… and I just plain speechless to hear what they did for me. You know how far your family will try to help you in whatever and whenever. Terima kasih di atas doa itu Bapak. I board the plane feeling like a new person, and hope it will last.

Tuan/Puan/Cik Kak, apakah pengajaran yang anda perolehi dari cerita ini?.

M A K A N

I came back 5 kg lighter from Aussie. 5 kg is huge to me, it defines my skinny jeans from taut to breathable?. Forlornly I didn’t enjoy the feeling-great-moment long. While some people spend their yearend by holidaying and shopping, me in contrary been eating out A LOT almost on daily basis.
Not some ordinary eating out with simple dish. I’m speaking about fat and calories FEAST: hotel/restaurant food, buffet, or kenduri kendara rumah saudara mara. Alhamdulillah murah rezeki dihujung tahun ini.

Jadual sepanjang Dec-Jan adalah seperti berikut:

11 Kenduri Kahwin jiran, beryani
13 Awana Genting, buffet for bf, lunch and dinner
14 Awana Genting, buffet for bf, lunch and dinner
15 Dish Deli, Solaris
16 Masak sakan, Labuan Clan datang rumah.
17 Chillis, Mid Vallley with hotties Eline, Zie, Ninie and Hannah & Durrah (hotties jugak)
18 Ice Cream Parlor , Kajang
19 Tenji, Solaris – Japs buffet
20 Lunch Café dHasil, Medan Satay Kajang
21 Dome KLCC with Iman
22 Rest Charm 1U, Rest Saba, Cyberjaya with Melaka Clan
23 Ampang Yong Tau Foo - Bonus lunch by Chenta, Dinner masak sebab Mak nak datang, tub2 depa dinner rumah SIL, jadi kami makan dengan jayanya.
24 Lunch Rumah Along @Jugra Banting, Siti Di Alam Fantasi + Kuew teow tepi IB
25 Sunway Lagoon Splashing day + food rega mahei rasa hampeh!, Dinner @rumah Kak Ngah Putrajaya
26 Kenduri Kesyukuran di rumah SIL – Beryani Kijang, Dinner masak siakap steam sempena final Suzuki Swift ? dan tayangan di dinding.
27 Lunch buffet - Rest Museum Kesenian Islam – project closing, Dinner Dol Tomyam – Chenta mengidam
28 Lunch buffet – The Royale Chulan Hotel – project set off , Voted best lunch spread by Moi
29 Convo and Concert Taska Opis , Party seafood in-laws balik dari Pangkor + final Suzuki Swift @Selayang
30 Rest Apa Nama Ntah, Pandan – served hot deep fried ayam and kembong and puyuh with sambals. Perghh
31 BBQ party @International Hill, Chenta’s MT reunion
1 Chenta pi school, Mummy and Iman layan sup ayam saja.
2 Rest Chinese Muslim Bangi


I’ll skip seeing myself naked until the madness is over. Till then, despite loads of fragmentary 2010 businesses, Happy New Year everybody. To the better 2011! *burppppp*:)

Greener Green

love it.
love it.
not the look, but the ability to see things clearer.
next time we meet up i might see your skin pore heheh yeah not funny.

okay la.. ngaku, love the look.
perasan.
korang suka?

(Tak Perlu) Jalan-jalan Hari Keluarga 2010

Nama : Iman Ghazi Anwar
Taska : Berhadapan ,Blok 11 Jalan Duta
Tempat kerja Mummy : Tkt XX, Blok 11 Jalan Duta
Family Day Opis Mummy : Perkarangan, Blok 11 Jalan Duta
Tarikh : July 24, 2010

Dear Golongan Atasan,

I know we don’t have allocation for this activity, in fact we have none for anything fun. I know everybody is super busy (accept me) that they don’t have time for little diversion. I know we love our office so much and proud of everything relates to it: our parking lots, our lifts, our hall, our in-house band etc. I know, who doesn’t love fried mee hoon and infamous chicken rice right? Well, I know I pay little, so little that my lunch can easily be fancier. Emm I guess you know me.

Let me be frank here. 1stly, I felt embarrassed just to spill the news to my hubby knowing he will express his amusement in a so-not-funny way. Then, I had a hard time explaining to my son why we went to school on Saturday, why there will be no splashing in the pool or beach after that. Why Abah is not joining us because of the obvious reason. And I didn’t even bother to tell family members that we had family day, it was just ‘work’ during weekend.

Yeah, may be its just me. After working more +-10 bloody years here, I think I deserve someplace nicer for what you call ‘Family Day’, even if it means that I have to pay. Seriously, I am willing to pay!. And I strongly believe others will agree with me. How else to say thank you in a simplest way to your staff? To let us know that we are appreciated if not needed. Well, knowing the crowd we had, I know it’s not easy to satisfy everyone, but it’s pretty harmless asking. And you don’t even have to do the dirty job.

Apparently, many divisions have their own ‘proper’ and much satisfied family day (explained clearly why they didn’t bother to join this one). What does it mean then? Nak joli joli katak tanpa certain bosses? And my own division after much suara sumbang, already agreed to arrange another family day somewhere next year… yieeha for that. But then, I think this is not healthy. It’s like when the parents can’t provide, children will go on separate way. Oh well, well, why am I worried for things beyond my weight.

Emm apapun, I joined anyway, to give support to the AJKs. I respect them for putting their face up albeit the mess, the awful words received and the ridiculous tight budget to work with: big claps to you guys. And I felt so lucky that during my terms, we managed to go to Langkawi and Melaka, just to compare.


Iman layan Padang.


Tolong jaga anak gebus dan main teng teng.

What with all the bebelan Dd. Office Family Day is just old fashioned! Log on to AA and after few clicks you’re confirmed to travel anywhere you wish. That easy and that affordable kan. Yeah, I admit I’m old. Old enough to love and cherish convoy beramai-ramai to some destination, to imagine my son had a great time playing with kids his age, rebut gula-gula, baling2 bola while me sitting aside simply gossiping or admiring sipolan punya handbag, bini orang itu lawa, anak dia comel, sopannya keluarga itu..bla..bla..bla… I’m old fashioned, enough said.

PS – I got Pensonic blander. Bersyukur.. bersyukur….amin…amin…..

Warning - Danger of wearing soft and bendable shoes

I've posted this kat FB, but need to re-post it here.
I don’t know, maybe it was the escalator or maybe it was the shoes or maybe it was Iman who somehow didn't stand still or moved his feet (you can’t be absolutely sure, kid are after all mysterious). But Iam calling all parents to be aware of this.

Yes I am very much aware of the reports and warnings regarding crocs and accident at escalators. And yes I will ALWAYS make sure Iman will stand STILL on the CENTER, as most accident said kid's feet get sucked into THE SIDE of escalators.

It happened just as we were getting up to the upper floor. Iman suddenly, frantically rocked his right leg, as I grabbed him (he was standing in front of me) , the crocs slipped off. Luckily it was loose (he hates the back heel strap). If not, the strap would hold his feet tight and took him or me another few seconds to let it loose, and I don’t dare to imagine what could happened in that mere seconds!. The shoe gets caught in the teeth BETWEEN the steps. So parents, being careful just not good enough. No matter where your kid stands, the soft rubbery material somehow easily gets sucked in the escalator.

The damage

Can you imagine how horrified I was at that time? I repeatedly ask Iman if he feels any pain. Alhamdulillah he was not injured at all. He was so brave, seemingly more upset that his crocs gets ruined. It hurts to hear him saying ‘Mummy, crocs car saya koyak’. Yeah he love crocs, but sorry baby, no more crocs at mall or any places with escalators.

The Last Pic: Taken by Iman :(

MIT cafe - 2008

Right now, I’m craving for this bagel. Sungguh mengada tapi ada akak kesah? Hahahahha

Last few years (wah, few years gitu), colleagues lepak very very close to my cubicle and I can’t help but listening to them. Oh how they miss u.s so much (apparently both studied there), the winter, the marts, coke, travelling and foods. Foods lead to pizzas, doughnuts and bagel. Yes bagel!. Bagel this, bagel that. Bagel what??. Frankly, I was STRESS. I can’t join the conversation because everybody knows I’m a product of a local uni. I never taste that stopid bagel in my life, and sadly at that year I’ve never been to u.s yet. I felt so small and at that very moment suddenly I lost the taste of seafood kola perghlis, joe cendol pulut, laksa psm changlun and moi d9. Lost it. Plain. Nothing.

Hmmpphh. What that makes me? Lupa diri? I don’t know. It’s heartbreaking when you try to look back your life and admit your mistakes, letting go the opportunity you have. But we must bersyukur don’t we? I promise myself, I will have whatever they had, in my own way. I might not be studying in u.s but that won’t stops me to taste my very first bagel in u.s, at the famous MIT some more. In that special morning, I took tube from Boston business district to MIT, straight to the café, get in line among students carrying backpack, notebook, ipod and felt equal. Sungguh bongkak. Indeed, it was delicious. Read: satisfied.

Well, I forgive those lucky oversea graduates (OG) who made my life miserable last time. Perasaan yg miserable. After all perasaan itu motivates me a lot. If I can feel equal among those MIT students, I felt nothing among them (OG). Hah! Bongkak lagi.

Till then, have a wonderful weekend ya'all! Keluarga En Anwar will off to Kuching 2moro. Another obligatory bday trip.. hah!

BFF

How much you value your good friends? How do you value them?

Do we need BF? Siapa tak perlu, sila angkat tangan. Ok la, sila tinggal komen. We, women need good friends as much as men need sport channel. No? Well I do! BF keep me sane when life seems too crappy. They listen and care, in many ways.

Dulu pernah di UUM, I walk all the way from Kolej Petro to Mas just to say hello to my good friend, only to be treated coldly for reasons I couldn’t understand. I walk crying all the way back to kolej, and then still sobbing, called my other best friend. I can’t even say a word, I know he didn’t understand what on earth was I crying over but without asking, he came and comfort me.
Recently, I got a message in FB from the cold one saying hi and all bla.. bla..bla. It took me few days to reply because frankly, I didn’t know what say. I just didn’t understand how she value me.

I’m a simple person. I do not need birthday wishes, birthday present, pujian melambung or frequent gathering or sentiasa berbalasan emails. Of course kalau dapat semua tu is a big bonus but I’m trying to be realistic here. Minus the technologies, we work far from each other and we even stay far from each other. All I need is, let put it like this : even if we didn’t have chance to meet for a very very long time, when we got to say hello to each other it’s a sincere one. Yup, that’s it!

Ok, let me ask you, how many times you were late to appointment causing others waiting or even worst, didn’t show up without even bother to call? Do you have special group of BF that you share certain stories only? Do you keep secrets from your BF? Ok la people have secrets, but do you have to lie to your BF?

Jika dulu, may be I will cry sedih sedih sayu sayu if it happens to me, but I think I’m too old for this crappy BF thingy. Hah! Ayat sombong melangit kaedahnya. No lah. I LOVE my friends. And if they like me enough to LOVE me back, the way I do, they are my BF. Come, love me.

What with all this bebelan? Blame the PMS or the cuaca panas (kan Zila kan..). Or saya geram mereka bercerita pasal BFF ni la di sini… ish… tgh fenin nak prepare for UAT esok ni!!!

My Dream Photo Shoot

Oh, saya adalah peminat Iman, bukan Iman Ghazi, dia anak saya sudah tentu nombor satu dalam hati. Iman Umairah, betul.. saya jujur. Saya kagum anak kecil itu. Walaupun hanya kenal dari cerita dan gambar sahaja, saya dapat membayangkan kecerdikannya. Oh tentu kamu ingat saya mahu kipas. Saya ikhlas, saya mungkin tidak pandai ber’madah berhelah’ (walaupun saya pandai dan suka nyanyi lagu ini) tapi saya cuba menyampaikan isi hati saya. Eh, tiba-tiba emosi pula.

Mengapa Iman, oh agar tidak keliru saya panggil princess itu Iman U, anak saya Iman G. Mengapa Iman U yang disebut? Saya sebenarnya mahu Iman G berkenalan dengan Iman U. *malu*. Eh… ada yang senyum? Bukan untuk dijodohkan! Bukan! Ini kan zaman facebook dan twitter, tidak perlu. Saya rasa mereka sesuai digandingkan dalam sesi fotografi ini. Macam Mila dan Akim, macam Lisa Surihani dan Farid Kamil, macam Jacob dan Bella (maaf, saya team Jacob yek, hehe). Kan?. Psstt... sebenarnya saya mahu Chenta lihat (PDM, Chenta adalah hubby saya) kepentingan pendidikan awal yang bagus dari Iman U. Dia sering mengatakan saya tidak sabar, Iman G masih kecil sudah mahu disekolahkan, duh!. Saya kira sesi fotografi ini juga akan menjadi sesi perbincangan pendidikan awal anak-anak. Saya mahu timba ilmu!.

Saya tidak kisah saya tidak digambarin (padahal membuak-buak perasaan nak posing). Saya mahu lihat Iman G dan Iman U gembira. Saya seperti dapat bayangkan suasana dihari kejadian. Pasti tak menang tangan PDM. Dan pasti terjerit-jerit dia. Hahahahhaha, kan saya kata saya dapat bayangkan. Betul tak?. Kiranya hadiah ini saya kongsi semula dengan PDM la.. heheh kipas.. kipas… eh boleh tak saya cubit pipi Iman Jr itu? Tiba-tiba tergeram. Maaf.

Saya mahu menaip lebih panjang lagi tetapi saya faham kesibukan PDM (padahal tidak mahir menyusun ayat molek-molek, tidak pandai merayu-rayu). Saya berdoa agar saya menang peraduan ini. Kawan-kawan doakan sama yek. Mana tahu, dengan kebenaran PDM saya boleh ajak anak-anak kalian juga. Wah.. seronoknya!!. Oh, oh, atau, kamu boleh masuk juga peraduan ini dan kalau menang, ajaklah Iman G sekali yek!!.

Okey untuk mula memasang impian saya sediakan contoh ini.

Emmm.. comel.. comel…. kan saya dah kata!!

2009 + 1

I just have to write before 2009 ended (which is when? The day after 2moro? Omg!). Well, 2009 have been a hectic year. Works been very demanding padahal tiada bonus. Boo!. But I must say I am satisfied with the job done. This whole year I’ve been challenging myself to do more. Yeah u heard me wining and complaining and all, but that was all I can do to keep me sane and move on. Overall, I’m proud of myself and for that I’ll be dating with Rob tomorrow. Padahal cuti gantian kena habiskan tahun ini juga.

On family account, I’d say I’m more than grateful for every single thing happened this year. The 18 of us just got back from a wedding of my bujang terlajak brother at Omadal Island of Semporna!. It was a super duper fun trip. I never tot Bajau wedding can be such enormous and eventful.

Albeit the less travelling this year, we’ve been busy with many-many occurrences on almost every weekend. Home been neglected on regular basis. Frames bought before raya still nicely wrapped with tag. Oh, the old small sony CRT finally went kaput after being hit by my two boys almost everyday. I miss it tremendously, did you know that to this day, nothing beats an old-fashioned tube TV (CRT) for black level. You got to google what black level is. Anyway, I can vividly remember the astro man’s face upon seeing our CRT when he came to upgrade to HD. He furiously said ‘Aiya boss, TV ini macam mau tengok HD ka?’ I didn’t blame him though, Chenta been pestering him to come to our house like zillion times and he end up agreed to do it on x-mas day!. All I can say, apart from upgrading our astro, nothing else is upgraded in our chomel abode.

Iman-2009

Despite hoping to be pregnant this year and I didn’t, overall, 2009 is fabulous.

Wishing you all belated Maal Hijrah, and happy 2010. Oh, I am so looking forward 2010.

Perlu Gembira

Perasaan saya berbaur-baur sekarang ini. Lagi? hehehe. Saya sedang tersenyum ketika menaip entry ini. Saya sedikit gembira kerana saya sudah nampak jalan penyelesaian masalah. Masalah kerja. Eh saya terlupa memberitahu, sekarang Sabtu, 4.41ptg saya di pejabat. Ya, macam rajin padahal wtf wtf wtf wtf!!. Walaupun baru nampak jalan dan belum tau lagi jalan itu betul atau tidak...saya sudah gembira. Kan kita harus sentiasa gembira. wtf! Perlu gembira sebelum hari paling gelap sepanjang perkhidmatan saya tiba minggu depan. wtf wtf wtf!

Oh, hari ini juga saya miss warehouse sale trip around kl bersama Chenta dan SIL. Oh saya tidak gembira tapi tak pe lah, sekurang-kurangnya saya dapat berjimat. Hehehe. Mau tau kemana dia pergi?. Eelectroluxxx , Calrk, Coach (Oh tidakkkk), Tilam milam dan bantal dan Hyytextt di Selayang. Ya, saya hanya mendapat report melalui panggilan-panggilan hangit beliau dengan ayat, "nak beli tak?". oh itu di warehouse tilam.. bukan di coach.. jika di coach harus saya jawab "beli semuanya!!'.

Well.. untuk lebih menggembirakan saya hari ini yang lunch dgn kerepek belas kasihan rakan sepejabat dan setin cola, saya pen off dulu... nak tgk jalan saya betul atau tidak. Ingat?

Eksekutif Cabuk

Akhir-akhir ini perasaan saya berbaur-baur. Saya sepertinya tidak dapat menikmati waktu. Mengapa kesemua perkara mahu berlaku dalam masa yang sama? Siang seperti tidak sabar untuk malam. Malam pula terlalu singkat. Tanpa sedar tahun sudah dipenghujung. Dalam sebulan dua ini saya kehilangan masa dan rasa. Banyak perkara membuat saya hilang kata-kata. Mungkin saya semakin berusia, banyak yang terlupa. Mungkin.

Saat ini juga saya sering terkenang ibubapa saya dikampung. Walau saya selalu menelefon, walau saya selalau bercakap degan mereka, tapi saya sering terbayang wajah mereka. Saya jadi sayu. Saya menangis. Bayangkan sedang membetulkan coding juga boleh terbayang, inikan pula diwaktu mellow- mellow yang lain. Saya mahu pulang ke kampung. Saya mahu tidur sebantal dengan mak saya. Saya mahu peluk dia. saya tahu, Iman pasti akan menyelit. Tidak apa… dia akan nyanyikan atuk lagu ‘Anak Nabi Kita’. Atuk suka.

Iman. Baru-baru ini Iman tiba-tiba berkata ‘Mummy, saya tidak mahu pakai pampers lagi. Saya nak pakai spender saja’. Eh, bilakah Mummy toilet train Iman? Iman sudah dewasakah sehingga dia sendiri rasakan perlu berubah? Iya, memang bagus… tapi saya belum bersedia. Saya belum bersedia. Saya masih mahu melakukan semuanya untuk dia. Melihat dia berspender ben10 saja saya menangis. Saya tidak dapat membayangkan nanti disaat Iman tidak mahu lagi memakai spender Ben10 itu. Saya perlu membeli spender gap, atau renoma, atau ck? Oh.. saya mahu pitam! Bukan sebab spender itu tetapi sebab Iman sudah berubah. Saya takut.

Saya takut. Macam-macam yang saya takutkan. Takutkan atau takuti? Tapi saya takut. Rakan saya bermasalah, saya takut membantu. Saya bermasalah, saya takut nak bercerita. Saya takut berjumpa doctor. Saya takut saya sakit. Saya takut saya menyakiti hati-hati orang yang saya sayangi tanpa saya sedari. Baru-baru ini saya diperingatkan. Kadang-kadang kita terbuai dengan rasa-rasa yang bahagia. Bahagia itu bahagia yang bagaimana?. Kadang-kadang kita terbawa-bawa dengan perasaan. Kita kan wanita, eh, kamu bukan?. Tak mengapa. Cuba fahami saja. Dengan siapa saya bercakap ini?. Dipejabat, saya selalu bermakan-makan, bergelak ketawa, bergurau gurau dengan lelaki-lelaki. Ada yang rapat, ada yang rapat sikit, ada yang tidak rapat sangat. Macam-macam. Sayakan suka berkawan. Baru-baru ini separuh saya tiba-tiba bercerita cerita panas di pejabatnya . Balu itu berkawan dengan laki orang itu. Iya, Balu, available, laki itu pon tentu available lagi 3 kan, tetapi perbuatan itu mengundang macam-macam kata dan perkara. Kasihan isteri dirumah, anak-anak, kasihan keluarga Balu. Eh kamu faham? Tidak apa. Saya cuma tiba2 rasa bersalah. Pergaulan saya dipejabat adakah menjadi mcam-macam kata atau perkara? Saya tahu separuh saya tahu siapa yang saya rapat, rapat sikit atau banyak, tapi saya tiba-tiba rasa bersalah. Mengapa? Saya pun tidak tahu. Mungkin saya tidak mahu separuh saya dikata diatas apa yang saya lakukan. Kan saya tak berapa kisah kata-kata orang. Mungkin sekarang saya perlu kisah. Perlukah saya?

Oh sebenarnya saya sangat sibuk dan buat-buat sibuk sekarang. Bukan, bukan sebab untuk penilaian prestasi.. bukan.. pejabat saya tidak begitu.. tapi sebab lain. Ramadhan saya sibuk, raya saya sibuk.. sekarang sibuk lagi.. bila mahu habis sibuk ini? Tahun depan tentu sibuk juga. Saya penatlah. Betul.. saya mahu cuti panjang tetapi cuti saya tinggal sikit. Saya kena pandai berjimat. Cuti pun perlu berjimat? Benci.

Sudah panjang. Saya penat. Taip ini pun penat tapi saya puas. Saya nak bercerita banyak perkara tetapi saya buat-buat sibuk. Sekarang sedang UAT tetapi saya taip ini. Buat-buat sibuk kan.hah!

Eh, tadi gamebangers main game baru. Saya suka. Balik nanti saya nak cari pistol Iman yang paling cool. Saya dapat character Lotus. Dia cool dan dia perlukan pistol yang cool. Saya suka main dengan mereka-mereka yang cool. Cool kah saya? Tapi saya tidak cool bila saya penat. Ingat? Ya saya penat. Apani?

Life

I hear I forgot
But
I see I remember
I do I understand

I don’t want to remember
I don’t want to understand
Because when I do
Even if I can forgive
I can’t forget.

If you really knew me, almost everything I am now is not me. I’ve became so distant with anything I love doing that my heart feels almost empty. I cannot stand looking at this screen that is about to make me screams. Fucking emails. These feeling make me deaf and blind and eventhough I am sinking in, I didn’t give a shit.

I just want to curl up on my bed and let Iman jumps around me. I want to hear his laughter. Please God, let me.

To Mike

During schooling days, a dear friend, Maryam Jameelah Ghazali (eh does the spelling right?) even though she is a diehard fan of NKOTB, used to nicked herself as MJ. I kinda like it. Another dear friend, (oh Nijot u can kill me; I totally forgot your real name!!) is a diehard, hardcore fan of Michael Jackson. Her nick was Mike. I like it a lot! Very cool!.

Jot, you did bring a different perspective of MJ to me. Well, I didn’t really bother MJ’s song before maktab as emm.. I minat NKOTB too.. heheheh. But then I got to know music(s) from friends like you, Yam, Shelly (MC Hammer fan), Ryder (Jazz fan) and many others. Yeah, I feel sad for the lost. I was secretly hoping to watch one of his 50 live concerts in UK which I know it’s only a phony hope.

To Mike.

!st attempt to become 10 years younger

When : 11/4/09
Where : Segambut

My Reebok running shoes been neglected for TWO YEARS! I didn’t exaggerate this.. yes, two years! My stretchable yoga pants been my favorite surirumah pants as long as I can remember!. (oh when will I be able to learn yoga?) Anyway, the point is I didn’t exercise. At all!. It hurts pretty deep when without provocation or anything Iman suddenly said ‘Mummy gemuk’. I was like WHAT?

So when they organized this futsal thing, without thinking I registered my name to play. Well of course there were training sessions but I never made it. Been busy like pekerja contoh yo. Hek eleh… i just wanted to exercise and futsal emm.. might be a good start.

I was not fit at all… most of the other players are aged in different age group than me, 80an gitu.. and being me main mcm org fit and nak menang… tu dia…


before 1st match


right after 1st match, seriously i saw stars and all and wajah menahan nak muntah!


semi, tgk la depa ngan jersey siap nama printed bagai...


menunggu medal.. we made it to the final, lost in panalty kick..siapa sangka kan...


Iman yg dapat medal..


the mainframers!


yes, also melecet dgn jayanya...
motif beg sebagai bg? hahha ala.. beg free eli mags...